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nixiekei's Blog


Elementary school Swim trip

One of my earliest experiences I can remember swimming was when my entire elementary class took a group field trip with a few other classes to the local swimming pool next to the air force base in Indio, CA. We had a good deal of fun going there, I can still remember the bus fumes as we piled in and the short drive to the pool. I can definitely do without the smell of the bus fumes, but I love the smell of old disel trucks for some reason.

We passed my favorite burger place growing up called "Bob's Twin Kitchen" its on the left we turned right down to the pool and started to file out of the bus in rows. The children who were experienced with swimming were asked to demonstrate their ability by swimming across the short length of the pool on the shallow end. If they managed it with little difficulty they were given free reign over the pools areas. For those that were like me who couldnt swim if their lives depended on it were only allowed into the shallow end with supervision. We were taught by various instructors how to float and holding our breath in the water. After a while they held another swim test and this time I tried out for it but just couldn't quite make the grade. we swam for quite a while and I enjoyed it very much, didn't even mind the water that occasionally went up my nose making me hack.

I'm not even sure what posessed me to do this but I wanted to see the view from the low diving board, it was the standard jumping one that was about a foot above the pool not the one you would have to climb several feet for. I thought the view was neat but the other over anxious children would not let me off the diving board and the one behind me even was bouncing on it in anticipation. I ended up losing my balance and slipping in but grabbing the board still slippery wet I soon lost my grip. As I tried to paddle and kick strenously I could not keep my head above the water long and I still remember trying to swim up to the surface seeing the sun slowly fade out of my view as the I choked on the water entering my lungs. I remember being serenely at peace once I had no ability to either reach surface or even inhale air. looking up at the sky from the water as i sank deeper I still think its a beautiful sight as creepy as it sounds. After a brief period which felt like months in the afterlife (I'll definitely get to this story for those folks who like tales of the afterlife). I was quickly recussitated by the lifeguard in his office (they didn't want the other children to witness this) I remember coughing and gasping as I came to. After interrogating me for a few minutes I was told to change and one of the instuctors was put in charge of watching me for the remainder of the trip. Of course when I recalled this story to my mother some ten or so years later she was surprised to hear this, apparently they kept it a secret from her... nice huh.

Farm animals are fun!

As a precocious child I would chase my grandmother's hens and roosters all over the pen and even some around town. I used to laugh so hard and run after them such a long time. Its a good thing they knew how to get back.

I used to ride the pigs backs (they were pretty big) like little donkeys or horses bare back of course, I stopped doing that once my cousin would try to call them whenever we were on them. They run full tilt when they think they have food coming their way. Needless to say I would dust myself off and wonder how many times I flipped and rolled.

I used to drink from the river by the horse ranch before I would visit my grandpa and help him with any chores he was working on. I loved riding the horses and helping him with anything he was working on. I used to love running errands for him running to town to grab food and drinks and running back as quickly as I could. I was really ill as a child so at this point I was running full tilt enjoying not being sick for once. I would work hard to help him before the hottest part of the day and take a nap with him in the little shack to sleep off a late lunch and get back to work right after the heat died down a bit. He showed me many interesting things about foods and livestock. I used to love the smell of his hats and leather so many interesting things to do. After a while I got to meet my cousin (he was my closest friend and I felt he was a true brother but that is another story for another day) we had tons of fun together.

We decided one day to take a horse out to ride around for a little while, since my grandpa was not busy in the field that day. Not sure where he was either that day, cant seem to remember much of that day unfortunately. Well one thing we did not know is that when you saddle a horse which we did on our own. The trick is if you do everything right you still need to wait a bit when saddling horses because sometimes they like to hold their breath for a bit when you tighten it to buckle the saddle... After a while of riding at full gallop we learned that the hard way. My cousin suggested I jump off the horse, I told him your crazy and held on tight and told him to slow down.

A while later I woke up with the most intense pain I have ever felt to this day and rubbed my head where I landed on a large rock. I tapped my cousin with my foot on his side to wake him up after I got out from underneath him. I felt sick, nauseous, and agony all at the same time. I do not think I had room for anger or hate to be mad at him, I did need his help and it was not really his fault anyways. I believe this is the first time I died, I remember seeing things on the other side (this will have to wait for another time since this story is very long as well). I believe that it was quite a miracle that I did not split my head open, another testament to how hard headed I can be. :P


One of my earlier memories (age possibly 3-5)


I have been told by my mom and I recall this instance a few times happening.

My mom would constantly dress me up as masculine as she could before taking me out to go shopping or about. Most of the time they would compliment her on her "cute daughter" or how adorable I was and how interesting it was that I have strawberry blonde hair. I would always remember her trying to stop them to explain that I was in fact a boy, and had tried to dress me up even with ball caps and pants to boots and cowboy hat to make me look more masculine. I think how funny it was she was the one that was proven incorrect given the nature of things.

Read First

I want to make a blog to record old memories as sometimes I can recall one and other times they are lost to me. I also want to make a sort of view point for readers to understand a little more about me without necessarily needing to ask me many questions at a time. I believe this also will help me in writing a book to explain to children what transgender life is like from the perspective of the person dealing with these life situations. How life experiences have a profound impact on the development of a person. Some content might not be appropriate for children and for those sections I will make sure to mark them as such with the tools on the site and also make a note in the header/title entry to indicate it.

I also forgot to mention stuff that is more sexual or private I will move to friends only, I think this sort of stuff is more for those I can trust with the information. Its only natural that I will want to share what I can with the public for transgendered people and those who have had similar hardships to gain some insight and learn from my past. So if you really want to know more personal stuff about me I guess you will need to get to know me better in the first place.


1-4 of 4 Blogs   

Previous Posts
Elementary school Swim trip, posted October 18th, 2012, 1 comment
Farm animals are fun!, posted October 16th, 2012, 1 comment
One of my earlier memories (age possibly 3-5), posted October 16th, 2012, 1 comment
Read First, posted October 13th, 2012, 2 comments

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